Close your damn mouth when you chew.

Have you ever ended up at a dinner table sitting next to a person who keeps chewing their food with their mouth open?

I was recently invited over for dinner at a person's house. Thinking it was a nice gesture, I showed up with a bottle of wine and sat down to have dinner. Next thing I saw was this same person, took a spoon full of food, put it in their mouth and started chewing with their mouth open. To make matters worse, it would make that "chomping" noise like they were trying to communicate in klingon or something.

Are you having trouble closing your mouth because you shoved so much food in there or are you trying to show everyone around the table what food looks like after its come out of a Magic Bullet?

It got rather interesting when they tried to speak while chewing. All this food sprayed out of their mouth like bullets trying to take out a target.

I feel like they were challenging me to see if I can toss a Smarties in their mouth before it closes like on the 18th hole of a Mini-Golf course where there's a windmill with a hole and you have to try and time your shot properly so that it doesn't hit the windmill.

Are you that oblivious that you can't tell people around the table are rolling their eyes or look at each other in discomfort while you're chewing away at your food with your mouth open? Didn't your mother teach you any etiquette at all?

The "chomping" became so rhythmic I could have probably got a dance beat going.

Close your damn mouth when you chew. No one likes to see what barf looks like in your mouth. Next time you invite me over for dinner, I'm going to show up with smarties and this t-shirt.