Have you ever noticed that growing up sucks?

Written by guest author, Adam Welsh.


I’m not talking about that now because I’m so tired after running a mile that I have to sit down to pee, or even that I’m finding hair on body parts I didn’t even know could grow hair. What I’m referring to is the loss of hope that being young affords you. You don’t bathe for a week? Don’t worry you’re young. Can’t tie a tie? Who cares? You have plenty of time to learn.


Nothing epitomizes this philosophy better than the old, “When I grow up I’m going to be…” It doesn’t matter if you’re in grade nine math for the third time, or you get mad at a door anytime you walk into one, like it’s the door's fault, because that will all change “when you grow up.”


But then something funny happens.

You actually do grow up. Fast. And even if you don’t feel like it, you’re old. You remember back when you were younger and thought that 30 was so old. By that time you would have a lifetime of accomplishments next to your name. Except here you are, just one of fifty Mr. Johnsons in the telephone book. “When I grow up” doesn’t really translate when you are driving an hour in traffic to some nameless job that strips you of any privacy under the guise of an “open concept”, surrounded by other lab rats of the workforce who all “grew up” not so much by choice, but acceptance of their failure.


I would be lying if I said that I had “grown up” just the way I had dreamt all those years ago. What I had done, presumably as a means of self defense, was fooling myself or at the very least, distracting myself, from the fact that at some point in time, I had agreed to join the rank and file of mediocrity.


My “ignorance is bliss” utopia came crashing down this week when I watched The Social Network. While many felt the movie portrayed Mark Zuckerberg as a “punk” as the movie posters scream out, I was actually inspired by his story. He made me want to do something to stand out, to separate myself from all of you under-performing dreamers. I left that movie theatre thinking, “When I grow up, I want to be Mark Zuckerberg.”

And then reality set in. Mark Zuckerberg is 26 years old; he made his first billion dollars at 22.  I'm 31.  Youth isn’t wasted on the young. Growing up is punishment for those too scared to follow their dreams.


Now how old is Bill Gates?